First of all, let me approve with what 0xFF wrote. Also, I'd like to put the right words on things: society expects women to be docile spouses and men to be virile ("manly"). Those who don't fit are being shamed, insulted, excluded. This is called patriarchy, and is a system. What fights patriarchy is feminism. That's why boys and men can be feminists, can call for their right to have feelings, to cry, to not catcall girls in the streets, to not have to marry who the family has choosen, to choose whether they want kids, to dress in cute and colorful clothing.
It's not easy to see how much "be like this but don't be like that" is being pushed on boys and girls early on because most of us always lived in the middle of it. How many do really want to be what society wants them to be ? Not many. So we all are being forced into this system, and we suffer that we can't be who we are and who we want to be.
This being said, let's see how it applies to the situation. Konekokun, from what I read I guess you're a kind boyfriend who wants to be happy together with your girlfriend. Like in all relationships, love, friendship, business or any other, there is doubt. In honest love, doubt can harm, and hurts. Maybe you see a double meaning in her ellipses where there isn't. Maybe her short texts are simply explained by how shitty her phone is and how tiresome typing a text is with it. Maybe your texting always happens in situations where she'd rather not want to be bothered like during studies or while watching her favorite series on TV. In no case should those short texts mean to you that she has little interest in you. If you have doubts like this, then I really recommend you to talk to her about it. You don't have to convince her of anything: you simply asking her because you worried a bit, it
will make her consider how to not worry you about such little thing anymore.
Let's talk a little bit about virginity. I didn't insert my penis in a vagina, but if I did it today I wouldn't feel like I "lost" something or like I "graduated". One more thing feminism is good for: you don't need to have sex to be validated as a real man/woman. Don't let yourself blinded by bullshit about "XX% of teenagers aged YY have done it", it is your body, your mind, your choice, and nobody can force you into something you don't want to. Instead of "one-time virginity", think of it as.. the total trust and joy with one (or more ?) other people. Each time you have sex, it's about feeling good together. The number of times one did it before has only one importance:
how well that person knows how their body reacts during sex, what feels the best, and what feels not good. Trust me: this is really really important if you want the sex to feel good for both and have a great experience. That's why, in my opinion, it can be disastrous if both people had no previous sex experience and can't support each other. I read way too many stories online of people who deeply regret their first times because, by lack of experience and because of society's pressure, it totally failed and caused sadness, pain, sometimes even trauma.
Now, to the masturbation. You do it with onaholes, she does it with a marker and possibly other tools/toys. Both do it with your hands. Masturbation is a very natural thing, it feels good, it's harmless and it relieves stress and sexual tension. It
may seem selfish when one has a good time masturbating while the other is not around, but it is not. It's really important to not feel jealous when your partner masturbates, and don't even start asking yourself if your partner is fantasizing of someone else. It leads nowhere and simply hurts. Remember always that lovers are still free human beings, and freedom is also being able to masturbate whenever you want to (well, not in public of course !). Masturbation.. I think it's a simple basic urge. Sometimes, unexpected, you just feel like it, and you do. That's fine ! People do it on the workplace, people do it to relieve stress before having a speech or serious meeting, people even do it before going shopping so they can more calmly decide what to buy (and thus saving money). But let's not reduce masturbation to a functional thing: me, you, your girlfriend, 0xFF, everybody has sexual fantasies, some realistic, some not. Fantasies like dreams are really very very private things and that you can't always control. Does it affect your relationship ? Yes it actually does ! When you trust each other very much then you can share your fantasies, and discuss how you could maybe make some of them reality. The simple thought of you and her playing with each other's fantasies surely makes you hard like a rock and her wet like a river ! Turn this into a game, where you share with each other what you recently masturbated to, and try making it a real sex act !
One more thing, think about it: how about you both go masturbate, in front of each other ? See how she does it, let her see how you do it, and then... help each other
This is so mind-twisting: physically you feel like you're masturbating like usual, but.. your brain figures out it's not your hand touching down there ! Confusing as fuck, and soooo sweetly awesome. You can upgrade this game later with sextoys too ! Ooh damn I'm getting carried away, well, I can't deny there were quite hot times on Skype
Her birthday. While I don't know how important that event is for her, I guess it's a good time to make her happy... in all kind of ways ^^ About the iPhone: mmh. First of all don't forget to wipe all data. This is actually quite a costy gift, and, well, Apple is the kind of company that collects all user data for nobody knows what reason so if she's sensitive to privacy, freedoms and user data protection, then the iPhone may be a sad gift to her. Anyway. If you do, maybe leave a "special picture" for her on it, a little extra surprise she can use at that night
0xFF → dildo or vibrator for birthday ? well it's not a
bad idea, but first of all they should both be over 18, and it's much better if she can choose what kind of toy she'd like. Picture this: both of them, holding hands and entering the sexshop, happily looking around to find the next toys they'll use in bed !
Finally, just a few words on /b/: anons are sometimes helpful, but often anons are only meanies (especially in summer). It's really not cool to turn down so harshly somebody who wants advice, let alone with the word "faggot" that says as much as "don't be a pussy / man up ! / what do you even have between your legs ?!".. patriarchy, clear and simple. Your questions are perfectly valid and there's no shame to have in that. Hopefully, we could help you out
EDIT: oops, forgot to add: many girls are born without hymen at all, hymen can be really thin, hymen can be "broken" without any blood flowing, hymen can be so thick and strong they need to be removed by surgery. So as "virginity marker" (or any other man-made reason), hymens are totally useless and yet another tool used by men to take control over women's lifes.